A couple of weeks ago, a reader sent me this question:
I exercise regularly, but I still struggle with stress eating. Where and how do I start to tackle this?
Chances are, you can relate. How do I know? 1) You’re human. (Unless you’re a robot… in which case: hi, and please don’t turn us into batteries like in The Matrix 👋)
2) When we work with clients, they fill out an intake questionnaire so we can learn more about them, their goals, what their biggest challenges are.
Emotional and stress eating is the most common challenge our clients report coming in – more than time, motivation, or even not knowing what to do.
If anything, eating when we feel stressed is the thing that most of us have in common!
Emotional eating and stress eating are complex behaviors, and they show up for a lot of people in different ways. While I’m not a therapist or a registered dietitian, I can share some patterns and strategies we’ve seen help others as part of our coaching work at Nerd Fitness.
That said, if these behaviors feel especially intense or overwhelming, I want to acknowledge that working with a licensed mental health professional (especially someone trained in disordered eating) can be really valuable. Therapy can be a game-changer here, and our coaches often work in tandem with therapists to make sure our work is supportive of what they do. ❤️
With all that said, let’s explore a few practices within our coaching scope that we’ve seen help. 🙌
One of the most powerful things you can do is just pause and notice what’s going on when you find yourself eating reflexively.
Is it stress? Exhaustion? Boredom? Frustration? Hunger? Just because it’s that time of day?
This isn’t about stopping the behavior immediately – just becoming more aware.
I’ve literally had people say it out loud how they are feeling in the moment: “I just had a stressful interaction with my colleague, and my instinct is to reach for something crunchy.”
Once we’re better able to understand our behaviors, we can use some of the other strategies we’ll discuss to help.
Though sometimes, this step alone is enough! I remember my client Liz telling me this single practice was so powerful, it helped her reroute her behaviors in a way that felt good to her (even though that wasn’t the intention!)
2. Proactive Self-Care (a.k.a. Your Nourishment Menu)
A lot of emotional eating stems from unmet needs – fatigue, loneliness, stress, overstimulation.
That’s why we recommend building a “nourishment menu”: a list of small, intentional activities that help you recharge. Reading, stretching, journaling, walking outside. Whatever genuinely helps you.
Pick one thing from that list each day to practice proactive self-care.
My client Mark often found himself reaching for snacks at the end of the day while he was watching TV, even though he didn’t technically feel hungry.
We realized that part of the trigger for him was a feeling like he didn’t get any time to himself throughout his hectic day, and so having this decompression time at the end of the night was important to him.
Whenever he tried to just fight through with “discipline”, it would backfire and he couldn’t sustain it.
It wasn’t until we made time for small pockets of other recharging activities earlier in the day that the underlying need was met, and stress eating at the end of the day was easier to change.
3. Use “Always” and “Sometimes” Language
A helpful reframe we often use: instead of labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” think of them as “always” or “sometimes” foods.
“Always” foods support your goals and energy consistently. These are things you want to include regularly in your meals and snacks.
“Sometimes” foods are still great options to enjoy, we just choose to eat them with less frequency than our “all the time” foods.
The key here is: no foods are off the table, permanently.
A lot of times, I hear people say stuff like: “I’m going to finish off this pint of ice cream left over in the freezer, and then it’s NO ICE CREAM FOR ME!”
While I know it’s well-intentioned, this ends up backfiring in almost every case.
While we want to be realistic about the types and amounts of foods that support your goals, we ALSO want to build a healthy relationship with food that doesn’t moralize it as “good” versus “bad”.
And this reframe can help.
4. Introduce an Interrupt Step
Next, it’s time to experiment with an interrupt step.
If you notice a strong urge to eat in response to stress, try inserting a small pause. We usually recommend finding something else to do for five minutes.
This could be going for a short walk, listening to music, tidying up your workspace, whatever.
Then, you can ask yourself:
“Am I physically hungry, or is something else going on?”
Sometimes that pause is enough to reroute the urge, or at least bring some awareness to what’s driving it.
Then you can make a conscious choice instead of reacting on autopilot.
Then we learn and build from there.
—
If stress eating is something you’ve struggled with, you’re not alone (and we have the data to prove it!)
And if you’re not sure where to start, pick one step from the list above and see how it feels.
You’ve got this.
–Matt
P.S. We’re hiring! We’re looking for a marketing specialist to join our team and work closely with me!
If you’ve got the experience and drive to help us make a difference in the fitness industry, please check out the link and consider applying. ❤️
