Can You Embrace Both After 60?

My granddaughter Aura (she calls me Coco) looked up at me a while back with those big curious eyes and asked, “Coco, why does your neck have lines on it?”

I told her, “Well, that’s because I’m your grandma, and I’m a little older than your mom, and as you get older your skin loosens up a little.”

She accepted that completely and moved on, the way five-year-olds do. But I think about that interaction every so often. The brutal honesty of a preschooler. 

Because the neck has always been my thing. My nemesis, honestly. I’ve looked in the mirror and seen a wrinkly neck for a couple of decades now. It’s one of those features I notice every single time. And yet here I am, genuinely at peace with the fact that I’m getting older. Most days, at least.

The tension between those two things? That’s what I want to talk about today.

I’m Not Going to Pretend I’m Totally Natural About This

Let me just be honest with you, because I think that’s more useful than a speech about embracing your wrinkles.

Here is what do consistency, and what I’ve tried:

• I use a red light mask (not as consistently as I should, but I use it).
• I have a good anti-aging skincare routine that has evolved a lot over the years as my skin has changed.
• I get Botox.
• I’ve done laser treatments but they tend to cause a rosacea breakout so I’ve shied away from them in the last few years.
• I recently tried a treatment called Sofwave, which targets skin laxity and I’m loving the results so far… I’m curious to see what it does for me over time.
• My hair is almost completely gray underneath, but I color it blonde because I genuinely love my blonde and I’m just not ready to let that go yet. Even though I see plenty of women my age who look absolutely stunning with their gray hair, that’s not where I am right now.
• My hair is thinner than it used to be, different texture, so I’ve had to adjust my whole hair care routine around that too.

None of that is me fighting aging. It’s me taking care of myself in the way that makes me feel good in my skin at 60. I also focus on these 6 things to wear over 60 that go beyond clothing.

And I also know that I look older. I have lip lines. I have the neck. I have all of it. And that’s genuinely okay with me.

The World Sends Us Two Messages at Once

On one side, the wellness and beauty industry has a serious financial interest in making us feel like our faces are problems to be solved. More women in our circles are trying various treatments, and it can feel like you’re falling behind if you’re not keeping up.

On the other side, there’s this cultural pressure to love yourself exactly as you are, let everything go natural, stop “chasing youth.” Which, in theory, I’m all for! I believe in aging with confidence. I talk about it constantly.

So which is it?

I think we’ve been asking the wrong question. It doesn’t have to be either/or.

You can get a treatment and also genuinely accept that you’re getting older. You can color your hair and also be at peace with where you are in life. You can care what you look like and also know that how you look is not the whole story of who you are.

The line for me is this: I’m not trying to erase myself. I’m not trying to look 35 again. I’m trying to feel like the healthiest, most vibrant version of 60 I can be. That’s a completely different goal.

The Stories We Carry About Aging

Most of us didn’t just decide on our own that aging was something to dread. Those stories were handed to us by the media, by an industry that profits from our insecurity. And once you start to see that, you can start to build new ones.

I’ve been working in fitness and health for over 35 years, and the women I know who are navigating this season with the most grace aren’t the ones who look the youngest. They’re the ones who kept showing up for their bodies, found their people, stayed curious, and stopped letting the mirror be their only report card.

As a trainer in my 60s, I can tell you: the goal is not to look like you skipped your 50s. The goal is to feel strong, energetic, and capable, and to actually enjoy the life you’re living in this body right now.

There’s a lot that I do different at 60 vs. 40, but I still love my life!

Perimenopause and Menopause Are No Joke

I’ll tell you something else: going through perimenopause and menopause was harder than I expected. The fluctuations, the emotions, the physical changes, all of it. I’d honestly argue it’s harder than puberty, and puberty was no picnic! Nobody fully prepared me for what that transition would feel like, and I know I’m not alone in that.

Coming out the other side has given me a different relationship with my body. More patience with it. More gratitude for it. And a lot less tolerance for noise that tries to make me feel bad about where I am.

You Can Hold Both Things at Once

So here’s where I’ve landed, after decades of thinking about this.

You can get laser treatments and also love the season you’re in. You can notice your neck in the mirror and not spiral about it. You can color your hair and also be a confident, self-accepting woman. You can care what you look like and also know, deep down, that your worth has nothing to do with your wrinkles.

The tension is normal. It means you’re human, not that you’re failing at self-acceptance.

What matters is the story underneath all of it. One that says you’re worth taking care of, not because of what you look like, but because of what you can do, how you feel, and who you get to be at this age. Zero judgment here.

That’s the story I want to keep writing. Right here, with all of you. Where do you feel the tension most? Drop it in the comments. I think this one could be a really good conversation.

PS. If you’re in the thick of perimenopause or menopause and want real, practical support, I have a lot of resources for you on the blog. You are not alone, and it does get better.